Everything always seems to be going so well. I think I've finally got my life back on track--I'm loving my husband as I should, working hard at my job, keeping the house clean, not eating too many cookies, and so on. Then things come to a crashing halt. I break down, God grabs me by the face and looks in my eyes and says, "Focus on Me, My child."
Yesterday was when my uptight, perfect world came unraveled. Work has been hectic the past week--several new projects have been thrust upon my lap, and I have been eager to get started. After a few days of this, I unfortunately found myself extremely stressed, unfocused, and worried. I was feeling almost jittery from nerves, like I had had too many cups of coffee (heavy cream, hold the sugar). That's when I was knocked out cold.
I came home yesterday with a major migraine.
I couldn't function. I couldn't cook, do laundry, read, or even watch TV. The pain from my eye strain (I've was looking at a computer screen way too much!) was nauseating. I am certain that the best way to relieve that kind of pressure is to have an elephant step on your head. (They can crush a watermelon like a human can pop a balloon!) All I could do was sit with my eyes closed, praying for relief.
It was then that I realized that I was so focused on myself, my stress at work, and my accomplishments at home. I was so prideful of finally getting everything done the past week that I wasn't focusing on my relationship with God. My life was so crazily out of my control (even though I thought I had it), He finally had to stop me and refocus my attention. He reminded me of something humble Amy had said earlier in the week:
"When it is quiet, I can remember all that God has called me to be and do."I know that the headache was sent to slow and quiet me down, and refocus my attention. In the quietness of the room, in the midst of the pain, I prayed for God to change my focus to Him.
"Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a