tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post115643249013216065..comments2024-01-05T02:37:02.518-06:00Comments on Onward and Upward: Career Wivesashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10982050095869237882noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1157458431423101822006-09-05T07:13:00.000-05:002006-09-05T07:13:00.000-05:00Hey Ashley- thanks for sharing this! There are ma...Hey Ashley- thanks for sharing this! There are many people and groups that put forth strong and loud opinions on what's biblical and the right way for everyone. I think you are wise to avoid reading them as much. I think they can get in the way of listening to the Holy Spirit and figuring out what God wants for us as individuals. <BR/><BR/>Sweetie, I know all about that syndrome called "the grass is greener!" LOL I'm a SAHM now, and there are wonderful things about it... but there are also things that are stressful and unpleasant for me. <BR/><BR/>You are a wonderful woman who's seeking to serve the Lord. Don't let these other loud opinions make you feel "less-than" or guilty. Continue to seek Him out and let Him show you what He wants you to do. <BR/><BR/>I hope that hubby of yours realizes what a smart and great lady he's landed! :) <BR/><BR/>Love ya! ((((HUGS)))Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10910198118243355322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1157114760470777612006-09-01T07:46:00.000-05:002006-09-01T07:46:00.000-05:00Anonymous: Yeah, I've realized that too. I have cu...Anonymous: Yeah, I've realized that too. I have cut down a little on the amount I read certain blogs. Also, I needed to know for myself that I am making the right decision. Part of the problem is that I wondered if I was being unbiblical, and after thinking and praying and reading the Bible I've come to the conclusion that it's not. It's easier for me to stand my ground if I am certain of my position. :-) For example, I got a lot of flak for not living with my husband before marriage (we were spending money we didn't have on two rents). Yet, it never bothered me because I knew for certain that would be wrong and that we would benefit in the long run for not living together. Because I was convinced of my position, I was able to let those negative comments slide.ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10982050095869237882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1157060837811837472006-08-31T16:47:00.000-05:002006-08-31T16:47:00.000-05:00Ashley, we have to very careful about what we're r...Ashley, we have to very careful about what we're reading on the Internet. Many people are very sincere in their beliefs and yet they can be sincerely wrong. Just because someone labels something as Biblical doesn't make it so. Search the Scriptures for yourself always asking God to speak and give you the message He wants you to hear. My opinion as a 40 something Christian SAHM, you're not doing anything unBiblical working before children. I think you and your husband are right to focus on paying off debt. If a blog is doing nothing but make you feel bad than find another blog to visit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156960951321882512006-08-30T13:02:00.000-05:002006-08-30T13:02:00.000-05:00Susan: I hope so too! I would love to work part-ti...Susan: I hope so too! I would love to work part-time, but I'm not sure if I would be able to do that with Imagine. We'll see; that is the eventual direction I'd like to go. And you're right - no matter what I want, it is ultimately up to Paul. I know when it is good for us financially, he will be okay with me not working. I'm glad I can trust him like that. :-)<BR/><BR/>Beth: Yeah I know, I need to look on the bright side of things! The social aspect is a HUGE benefit to working, although I wouldn't necessarily consider my coworkers "friends". I think if I did stay at home full-time, I would have to do SOMETHING to get me out of the house - like volunteer.<BR/><BR/>Larissa: I think it is the line of work you're in and the people you are with. You're in a line of work where most go on to further education after college, and mine is the opposite. Also, I read a lot of blogs by women who are stay-at-home, and so I feel the pressure there. Also, I do have insecurities that I'm doing the right thing as a Christian, and the best thing ultimately for my family. So that makes me second-guess myself a lot. Sometimes it's hard to shut out well-meaning voices and know what GOD is trying to say.<BR/><BR/>Lesley: Hey! Thanks for commenting! :-) From reading your blog, I've noticed that we are in similar situaitons. I think sometimes the beginning "grown-up" years are all about paying your dues: a few years of work that we don't particularly enjoy will make the future years even better. I know for us, our goal is to pay as much on the loans as possible before we have children so that we can enjoy our family even more without the financial burden we could have. In the grand scheme of things, this time isn't as eternal as it seems... but right now it's hard to remember that. :-)ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10982050095869237882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156862801217966522006-08-29T09:46:00.000-05:002006-08-29T09:46:00.000-05:00I thought I would comment since it sounds like we ...I thought I would comment since it sounds like we are in the same boat. Like you, I am choosing to make the most of my childless time to work and contribute towards paying off debts. It is difficult to be content from time to time - especially when I realize just how much I don't like what I do and how little I am challenged by it most of the time. I have found it very helpful to focus on the impact I am having on our finances - and it gives me the encouragement to keep writing and to try to get published. <BR/>Anyway, I applaud those who do what they feel they should rather than what they think they want.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156823307688959802006-08-28T22:48:00.000-05:002006-08-28T22:48:00.000-05:00Hmm... I feel the most pressure to stay at home, a...Hmm... I feel the most pressure to stay at home, and I feel the most insecure about my ability to be a good wife and mother. However, I am also surrounded most by people who choose to stay at home once they have children. I'm a teacher; not an engineer. :) But you raise a good point, Larissa.Beth @ The Natural Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06702094412517613685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156819200803246552006-08-28T21:40:00.000-05:002006-08-28T21:40:00.000-05:00It struck me as somewhat odd that Joanna commented...It struck me as somewhat odd that Joanna commented on the concept of feeling peer pressure to be a stay-at-home mom because I actually feel peer pressure in the opposite direction; almost as though I need to prove I am intelligent through a career. It makes me want to become accomplished with a career and once I have met my goals, "settle down" and be a stay-at-home mom. If I do that, I won't try to have kids until it is physically too late! This, by the way, makes it obvious what insecurities I have. So I wonder if what direction we are feeling the peer pressure from is because of the people we hang around or because of the insecurities we have?Larissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11497176158971158841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156817014575558842006-08-28T21:03:00.000-05:002006-08-28T21:03:00.000-05:00In your situation, Ashley, I'd be doing the exact ...In your situation, Ashley, I'd be doing the exact same thing. I'd be choosing the full-time paycheck and at the same time wishing I could stay at home. <BR/><BR/>But now we have Olivia and another on the way and I have to stay at home. (Yes, I realize I could put her in daycare, but we choose not to go that route.) Anyway, now I have what I thought I always wanted, and somehow the house is still a mess. :) It gets cleaned eventually, but not until the little tornado goes to bed; a pointless battle. <BR/><BR/>And the social issue is hitting me hard right now, being new in this community. Having only a 14 month old to converse with is a little isolating sometimes. But hopefully soon we will be able to get involved in a church family and I will finally be able to go to play dates and MOPS!<BR/><BR/>So, in short, enjoy being able to work and socialize and get out of the house while you can and realize that you will get your chance to be in the house enough when the time comes!Beth @ The Natural Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06702094412517613685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156800218263281392006-08-28T16:23:00.000-05:002006-08-28T16:23:00.000-05:00The grass is always greener. *sigh* Yeah, I rememb...The grass is always greener. *sigh* Yeah, I remember times when I've had to cut out certain blogs from my readership because they were making me focus more on what I <I>didn't</I> have than what I do have. <BR/><BR/>I know we differ on the notion of careers for women some, Ashley, but I really see that you're trying to do what you feel God has laid before you. If you quit work against Paul's consent, I would consider <I>that</I> to be wrong. Working while you're still childless, though, to relieve debt burden that you and Paul cannot erase (whether or not it was unwise in the first place, you can't wish it away!) is not as cut-and-dry an issue as I'd like it to be! <BR/><BR/>I believe women belong in the home; you know that :). But sometimes we have circumstances outside our control, and I really feel that especially given Paul's own feelings on the matter, you are doing the right thing by continuing to work. I sure do hope you can come home soon, or at least cut back to part-time!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01270306505994055790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156791543026502492006-08-28T13:59:00.000-05:002006-08-28T13:59:00.000-05:00Yeah I think that's something I realized after thi...Yeah I think that's something I realized after thinking about your post. A post on contentment will follow within the next few days, courtesy of Beth. :-)<BR/><BR/>I'm definitely the girl who always falls for the "grass is always greener on the other side" trick. I always want to be where I'm not. I think that's the hardest thing about this whole situation - is that I am where I am, I am where God has me, and I need to be okay with that. Easier said than done!ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10982050095869237882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31282173.post-1156789665503628822006-08-28T13:27:00.000-05:002006-08-28T13:27:00.000-05:00"Are you sure that's what you want to do, or is it..."Are you sure that's what you want to do, or is it just peer pressure?"<BR/><BR/>This is essentially what Josh said to me when I was talking to him about this issue-- he said it's like saying the grass is greener on the other side. Unmarried women want to be married. Married working women think life would be better not working. Stay-at-home moms become Desparate Housewives. <BR/><BR/>We can be content where God has us for now and glorify Him in it.Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937512054883534573noreply@blogger.com